San Antonio The City of Excitement, Intrigue,

Powerful Toilets and Backwards Flights

Most of us (hopefully) have used a restroom and many have stayed in a motel or hotel. Well, believe it or not, I stayed in a hotel AND used the restroom. Yes, it is true. Please do not write me for my autograph.

Went to San Antonio and stayed in one of the fancy, schmansy hotels on the Riverwalk. If you get a chance to go to San Antonio, you gotta go! It is a very cool place, especially the Riverwalk. The river is about 20 feet wide and there are all sorts of restaurants and shops on it. There are trees all around. It is kind of like a scene from an Indiana Jones movie.

We, a co-worker of mine (we will call her Sara) and I, ate at a Mexican restaurant and were seated next to the river. They served us chips and salsa. Yummy!!!

The people beside our table start throwing chips in the water. Little fish, like minnows start eating the chips. The farther down into the water the chip sinks, the larger the fish are that eat the chips. Maybe Don E and I should get our fishing poles and catch dinner.. hahahaha.. not!! Anyway, the fish attack the chips and so do the birds. About 20 of them are fighting over a chip right beside my chair. Another flies about 30 mph right over the table, almost spearing Sara in the head with its beak. Alfred Hitchcock might have been inspired to make his movie "The Birds" if he ate here. The waitress scares the birds away.

After we finished lunch, we fed the fish our scraps and kept walking. It really is a beautiful city.

Back to the hotel. We were attending a conference reception that night and wanted to get cleaned up. I was on the 8th floor. I walked into the room, put my suitcase on one of the beds, got unpacked and turned the air to 62 degrees. Sure, now he turns on the air. (that comment was for Pokey and Gamby. 2 loving parents with an affection for heat... not!)

After using the restroom, I reached for the toilet handle. I pushed down and then it happened. I don't know if San Antonio has high water pressure, but it sounded like a lion was coming out of the toilet to kill me. There must have been 3,000 gallons of water run through there within 10 seconds. My bed moved, the TV turned on and my body was being sucked right into the toilet. the river actually went down a foot and a half. It was extremely loud! Of course, I proceeded to flush it 10 times just to see what would happen.

After the flushing, I could not wait to see the shower. Would I be burned with hot water? Would I drown? Should I wear a snorkel and some fins? It worked fine. Kind of a let down. hahaha.

Blah Blah Blah, Work, Meeting, Blah, Blah, Blah....

Ok, time to fly home. Have you ever flown SouthWest Airlines? I am a die-hard American Airlines guy, but their flights were full, so we flew SouthWest. The check in lady was not having too good of a day, but the people at the gate were awesome!!! I am used to seat assignments and flying forwards. Neither of which I got!!

We were given our plastic cattle call boarding numbers and proceeded to file into the plane. I was number 106. I was thinking MIDDLE SEAT. I got on the plane and the first seat was open, except it was facing the back of the airplane. I could see everyone and everyone was staring at me. They wanted me... hahaha

Take off and landing were strange. I am used to being pushed back in my seat during take off. This time I was holding on for dear life. I sat directly across from an older lady (mid 70's) and thought it would be fun to "pretend" I lost my balance and act like I was going to crush her. I don't think she thought it was too funny. I laughed and so did the guy beside me. I figure she was just playing hard to get.

Cab ride home. We took the Super Shuttle to save on expenses. We had to drop a lady off. She couldn't exactly remember how to get home. HELLLLLLOOOOOO! She has lived there for a few years too. Then, we are on our way to drop Sara and I off at work. The driver proceeds to tell us he had a heart attack a few years ago due to a drug overdose and that he has also been held at gun point fairly recently. Check Please!! I am a bit nervous. Made it back in one piece.

That was pretty much the trip to San Antonio. In case my boss reads this, the meetings were awesome and we really learned a lot and will put our newly acquired knowledge to work immediately. To the rest of yuns, we learned a lot and had a great time. Go to San Antonio and see the Riverwalk. AWESOME! Just don't drink the water.. or flush it. hahahaha...